Reopened Mind

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Posts by Reopened Mind

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  15

  Making real friends

  by KindEyes in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hiya, firstly i’m new to this website, so sorry if this topic has been covered before.

  i have been out of “the truth” for almost one year.

  i live with my non-witness mother, have an amazing boyfriend, work and am in college.

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  Reopened Mind

  Hello KindEyes and welcome. I like your name. My husband Still Totally ADD told me about your post and suggested I share my thoughts with you. Like you I am a very introverted person. Still Totally ADD and I are in our sixties now and have been in the cult most of our lives, he a born-in, me a convert. Though I hated it I learned to be more outgoing by going in field service and giving regular talks on the ministry school. So when I left the cult at least I could approach people. My husband though is the outgoing one and I rely on him a great deal to take the first step to forming friendships. You say you have an amazing boyfriend. I'm sure you will find him a great source of support.

  Look around at work and at school. Is there anyone you would like to get to know better? Say "hello", give a sincere compliment, ask a question, show interest in the person. Pretty soon you will have a conversation going. Don't be afraid of your JW past. I find many people are intrigued by someone who lived through an unusual experience. Know that not everyone is going to be your friend. You are free to choose who you are comfortable with. Most of all be sincere and be true to yourself.

  As for your toxic JW girlfriends, surely you can see they are using you. You don't need them in your life.

  Best of luck on your journey into the real world.

  Reopened Mind
  
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  34

  Is There a TV Show or Movie That You Just NeverGet Sick Of?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i love the rifleman!

  i’ve seen it a million times and still will watch it !

  and goodfellas, the movie as well as the sopranos.

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  Reopened Mind

  To add to Still Totally ADD's list

  Avatar

  A Beautiful Mind

  all the Star Wars movies

  I don't know why he didn't mention The Big Bang Theory. We watch that almost every night.

  One of my all time favorites, Miracle on 34th Street.

  The Wizard of OZ

  Reopened Mind
  
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  59

  A Little Direction Please

  by Brian J in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i'm an active elder, cobe, just got home from the meeting where i handled the treasures part and concluded by announcing a friend of mine has been d/f,.....blah blah blah...and over the last year have woken up.

  i simply cannot spill my guts to my wife and children as it would be family suicide.

  i have zero desire to bash, spread my feelings, or become an "apostate".

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  Reopened Mind

  Brian J,

  My heart aches for you. I was the wife of the PO (before it was COBE) when I started waking up. Having to announce the disfellowshipping of a friend must have been doubly hard. Unbeknownst to me he was also having doubts about the organization. When he questioned the Flood I took this as my opportunity to research and share with him what I found. I know most couples don't start waking at the same time as we did but my point is listen to your wife and offer any support when she indicates any little doubt. Looking back I think we both had had niggling doubts for years prior.

  Others have said to gradually step down from your responsibilities and you have many in your position. Use whatever excuses you have to. At the same time give your wife increasing attention, something you are not able to do as a slave of the organization. Take her out to her favorite restaurant, enjoy a movie together, take walks, help more around the house, whatever your time and circumstances allow. Most of all listen to her and HER concerns and take it from there. Operate from a platform of love and respect.

  I remember when we were full in the cult we would take the family camping each year. We did not go to meetings or do any theocratic activities during that week. I have to tell you my husband was a totally different person, much more relaxed and more enjoyable to be around as the pressure was off. I have this man full time now that we have left and let me tell you our marriage is much better for it.

  Another thing that might help. As we were leaving the cult we lived around my nonJW family. Just being able to talk to them was a great relief. Do you have any friends or family outside the cult? Developing such friendships will make the transition to normal life easier.

  Best of luck on your journey to the outside world!

  Reopened Mind

  ps My husband is Still TotallyADD
  
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  15

  I wonder if their are any parents of theses children on here now .May 22 1994

  by smiddy3 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i know it could be a sensitive subject however we were all once firm believers and could have very well let one of our loved ones die due to what we once believed.. and not to be judgemental on what we would have done or did do in the past ,i sometime wonder if any of the parents or even one parent of the children of the may 22nd 1994 magazine of "youths who put god first " have now regretted their decision to let their children make this decision on their own.. after all these years i find it hard to believe that not one of them have no regrets to what happened to their child.. i can also accept that it would be extremely hard to admit that you allowed your child to make a decision to die on a belief you instilled in them that you no longer now believe in.

  i think that would be very hard to live with and come to terms with.. if any of you are here my heart goes out to you because you have gone through hell and my thoughts/vibes are with you..

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  Reopened Mind

  I am not one of those parents, but I could easily have been. My youngest son was born in 1982 by an emergency caesarean. He was immediately whisked away to the pediatric intensive care unit. The doctor who headed that unit approached my husband and me and informed us that unless we agreed to let our son have a blood transfusion, he would not live the day out. Then we were threatened with a court order. Both my husband and I refused the transfusion on religious grounds. The court order never came about thanks to my sympathetic obstetrician. Long story short, he lived and thrived. For years this cemented my faith that the Jehovah's Witnesses were right. But now I look back in horror at how I was willing to let my son die for this religion.

  Reopened Mind
  
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  116

  What is behind your choice of forum user name?

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just curious how we all think.. what prompted or influenced your choice of username for this forum?.

  there are some really amazing names, and it would be great to hear the stories behind them.... mine was nothing fancy.

  i just felt "stuck in a rut too" along with so many others.

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  Reopened Mind

  I began studying with Witness girls at school in my teens. I considered myself very open-minded back then. Unfortunately I was so open-minded as to let in all their propaganda. From that point on my mind shut to all but what was in Watchtower literature. Forty plus years later some cracks developed in my armor and I began opening my mind once again as I began learning "the truth about the truth". Hence, I reopened my mind.

  Reopened Mind
  
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  28

  When you were an active WT door knocker... How did you knock?

  by LoisLane looking for Superman in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  on the door frame, on the door, door knocker, bell.. loud, very loud, regular, soft... gentle... or just pretended and never knocked at all?

  we just had a city worker come a knocking on our front door and my responce after she left was, she should go down to the local kingdom haul and give lessons.

  her knock was so loud, she could raise the dead.

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  Reopened Mind

  Most of the time I knocked like LoveUniHateExams. In Florida there was often a screened in porch on the front of the house. Then I would knock on the screen door. If it was a mobile home I would knock on the side of the house.

  One time my partner knocked on the door. From the inside we heard "Hello". She proceeded with her introduction but no one came to the door. We had been witnessing to a talking myna bird!

  Reopened Mind
  
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  18

  Reopenmind is having a brithday tomorrow

  by Still Totally ADD in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  happy brithday my dear wife.

  what a lucky man i am to have you as my life mate.

  i am so happy we are free from this damm cult.

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  Reopened Mind

  Ooooo! Champagne (thanks Stan) and cake (thanks Village Idiot, though I'm sure that's a misnomer). What more could a girl want on her birthday? But I do have more. I have a wonderful thoughtful husband and many friends, unconditional friends, here.

  carla, corruptgirl, HappyGal, thank your for your well wishes.

  Blondie and Irreverent, better late than never escaping the cult. I realize that being able to exit with my spouse is something not all were able to do. The fact that he came out with me made the process so much easier. However, we left our children and grandchildren behind. So in that sense leaving was bittersweet.

  Mr. & Mrs. Flipper, it is great to be able to celebrate something so natural as a birthday without looking over my shoulder wondering how I am being judged. Every year Still TotallyADD and I talk about coming to your apostafest and every year something comes up. Well, hope springs eternal.

  Reopened Mind
  
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  18

  Reopenmind is having a brithday tomorrow

  by Still Totally ADD in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  happy brithday my dear wife.

  what a lucky man i am to have you as my life mate.

  i am so happy we are free from this damm cult.

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  Reopened Mind

  Thank all of you for your well wishes. When I was in the cult I couldn't understand why we could celebrate the ANNIVERSARY of our wedding, but not the ANNIVERSARY of our birth. To me there was no difference. Even from a Biblical standpoint the angels celebrated Jesus' birth and Jesus performed a miracle at a wedding. And nowhere is there mentioned a commemoration of either.

  OK, mini rant over. I was not raised a JW like my husband so had birthday celebrations until I converted in my teens. One of my favorite pictures is of me blowing out the candles on my fourth birthday.

  Tahoe, love the picture of the bird-of-paradise.

  Reopened Mind
  
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  18

  Reopenmind is having a brithday tomorrow

  by Still Totally ADD in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  happy brithday my dear wife.

  what a lucky man i am to have you as my life mate.

  i am so happy we are free from this damm cult.

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  Reopened Mind

  Thank you my dear. I will be 64 tomorrow. I am so grateful we left the cult together and are now able to celebrate life instead of death.

  Love you so much.

  Reopened Mind
  
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  22

  ADHD Caused by Chemo

  by azor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i just found out yesterday that my son who is less than a year out of treatment for leukemia has adhd caused by the chemo that saved his life.

  does anyone here have any experience with this?

  primarily looking for books or resources that helped you or your loved ones..

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  Reopened Mind

  I am Still Totally ADD's wife. As he says he has ADD, not ADHD. He works very hard but he is not hyperactive, which is what the H stand for. ADD is Attention Deficit Disorder. And yes he fades in the afternoon when his ritalin begins to wear off. We have been married for almost 43 years and I can tell you that ritalin has made a definite difference in both our lives. He has remodeled at least 20 houses. He can see in his mind exactly how he wants to transform a house and then proceeds to do it. He is working on remodeling an old farmhouse we just bought. Someday (sigh) I hope not to live in a construction zone.

  Reopened Mind